Hello, and welcome to How to Take Over the World. This is Ben Wilson. Welcome to today's Napoleon the movie review, where it will be my misfortune to tell you about one of the worst movies that I have ever seen.

I'll talk about some of the historical inaccuracies, what I thought was lacking about the movie, some of the things that I liked. There were not very many, but there were a few. And, uh, we'll get a little bit into Napoleon and what I thought animated him,  and why I thought that this movie missed.

The soul of who he was

Before we get into it, a few announcements. First, a big thank you to everyone who has subscribed to the premium tier. If you want to subscribe yourself and get all of my end notes episodes, you can go to takeoverpod. supercast. com. Secondly, to everyone that was very alarmed that I put out the Rasputin episode, uh, and made it a paid episode, even though it's not an Endnotes episode.

That was just like a little thank you to my subscribers. Wanted to give them a full episode. That's not the plan going forward. You can still listen to the main episodes for free. Maybe occasionally I'll do something like that. Like once a quarter, I'll drop a episode on a more minor figure and uh, make it for paid subscribers only.

But I appreciate that so many of you were so alarmed that you couldn't get the podcast for free. Hopefully it didn't panic you too much. And yes, just to clarify going forward, main episodes with the main story are going to be free.

Also, if you'd like to get updates anytime a new episode releases, and would like to hear a little bit more from me and get some more extra free content,

you can go to takeoverpod. com and sign up for the newsletter,  and you get some more How to Take Over the World right into your email inbox. Okay, with that said, let's dive into this review of the movie Napoleon after this quick break.

Okay, so as I alluded to, I thought that the Napoleon movie was... Pretty bad

and it's a difficult movie to figure out. I mean you can tell that Ridley Scott does not like Napoleon But it's interesting because he doesn't even really engage with who Napoleon is You know, if you thought someone really really hated Napoleon,  then they would want to expose the things that really were Shortcomings in his character, right?

They would want to expose his egotism, uh, his restless drive, the fact that he was never satisfied, and instead, we get a character that is almost the opposite of who Napoleon really was. So, as portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix, Napoleon in this movie,  Incredibly passive. He has no discernible intelligence or charisma, no ability to lead people.

He doesn't really do anything for the entire movie. Like he's just an empty hole at the center of this movie, a complete non entity with no personality whatsoever. He almost comes across as like a early 19th century Forrest Gump, because you can't understand like why these amazing things are happening.

If this person had no charisma. No intelligence, no ability to lead, no nothing, then it really doesn't make any sense how he is building this pan European empire, why he's winning all these battles. And so,  Ridley Scott's unwillingness to show any redeeming qualities of Napoleon make it just sort of a head scratcher.

You can't really understand why any of these things are happening. Uh, he just kind of stumbles along and, Oop,  I guess we won that battle and, Uh, signed this treaty and, , I guess the only thing that he does that explains any of this, So for example, at the Battle of Austerlitz, Which in real life was Napoleon's kind of grand victory, And there's no way to get around it, that it was this incredible victory.

The one thing that he does is portray the emperors of Austria and Russia as even more stupid than Napoleon. And so whenever he really can't get around a victory and something has to happen, uh, every single time he just portrays the enemies of Napoleon as completely inept. So in the first battle at Toulon, the British are off their rockers drunk.

Uh, they're drinking, they're singing, they're completely not paying attention as the French just lay explosives all around them and easily overcome them and blow up their fleet. So Ridley Scott gets around his inability to say anything positive about Napoleon by making the British seem even stupider than him.

Similarly, At the Battle of the Pyramids, ,  the opposing army is just a complete non entity. They just kind of line up and stand there, and the French fire cannons at the pyramids, , , and you're left to conclude that the Egyptians were just so overawed.

By cannons, I guess, in the Ridley Scott world, the Egyptians didn't have cannons in the early 1800s. Uh, but they're so overawed by their superior firepower that I guess they just surrender. But he makes them seem very comical and stupid.

And then you get to the Battle of Austerlitz and, uh, he makes the Russian and Austrian emperors seem very dumb.  

And then of course at the Battle of Waterloo, there isn't that problem, because Napoleon loses. And so he just gets to make him seem like an idiot again.

And it doesn't just extend to Napoleon's military conquests, it also extends to what could have been the only interesting part of the movie. Which is his relationship with Josephine and there are a couple scenes that  are okay, I guess. But the problem is they never build the relationship  with any sort of warmth or understanding or love or even likability on Napoleon's part.

And so when in later scenes, they try and create any feelings of longing, or missing, or love, or tenderness, or closeness, , it's just built on nothing. You have no idea why this woman, Josephine, would feel anything except for complete and total contempt for Napoleon, or borderline revulsion.

So at the end they try and do this, this thing of like, Oh, look at these lovers who the world came between them. But it just doesn't make any sense because Napoleon is portrayed as a buffoon the entire time with no tenderness whatsoever. you have no idea why Josephine would feel anything for him. And it completely undermines any of the emotional impact of this plot line

of the romance between Josephine and Napoleon.

And so again, it gets to this mystery of like, okay, Ridley Scott.  Why would you even make a movie about this person that you have so much contempt for? And also, do you even have contempt for him? Because it seems like you understand him not at all. Like  this cinematic version of Napoleon bears zero resemblance to the historical figure.

And what I'm left with is that  who I do think Napoleon resembles is sort of the popular understanding Of like a Trump supporter of an incel and I think that's what this was really about Either on behalf of Ridley Scott or the writer that they have this this hatred towards Uh white men or republicans or incels or just kind of people that fall On the right wing spectrum of american politics white men in particular and so napoleon does come across as like kind of a typical Yeah, a stereotypical incel, right?

And I think this comes across most clearly when you Jen, who is the son of Josephine comes to see Napoleon to request his father's sword. And Napoleon is there with one of his subordinates and they're like playing a little game. I can't tell what they're doing. They're like throwing nuts into a fire.  So this feeling that this guy has nothing going on, right?

Uh, he's like this dunce who just Uh, plays around all day, dinks around, and It's completely the opposite of who Napoleon was. If he had a flaw, it was his restlessness, right? That he just couldn't stop. He couldn't be satisfied. He couldn't say I've conquered enough a time to make peace with England. No, he, he had to keep pushing harder and harder.

 But who it does resemble Is  like a 22 year old, uh, loser kid in his basement playing video games. Like I got the feeling that's who they're trying to portray. And I mean, I guess that's fine. , if that's what they wanted to make the movie about, but it just makes no sense to make that.

The Napoleon movie, and similarly, it doesn't even succeed on that level. Like if they were going to do that, they really should have done it. You know, a movie that similarly has a lot of contempt for men and has a lot to say about that is the Barbie movie and the Barbie movie, which I have not seen, but

was at least a commercial and critical success.

And I think in part that's because it was the creative vision of one person, Greta Gerwig, who had something to say,  and of course you can take issue with what she had to say. Uh, again, I haven't seen it, so I can't comment on that.  Clearly she had some critique of patriarchy and of white men that she wanted to get across, and some people resonated with that.

This was like trying to be three different movies and none of them worked. It was trying to be like a big cinematic. biopic of Napoleon and the Napoleonic wars. It was also trying to be like an intimate love story between him and Josephine. And it was trying to be almost like a spoof,  where it kind of critiqued, not really even Napoleon, but people who are interested in Napoleon.

Mainly young men, many of them white. Right. And, um, it doesn't do any of the three things. Well, it's not a good love story. It's not a good war movie. it doesn't have anything new or interesting to say.

It's just sort of, I don't know, uh, a general gesture in that direction that it doesn't like a certain type of person. So, , maybe that would have helped the movie succeed if it had decided what it was trying to say or if it had tried to be one of those movies. I think on all three accounts, there are scenes that make you think, Oh, maybe this could have been good.

So for example, the very last scene of the movie and obviously spoilers, if you haven't seen it, but the very last scene of the movie is him on St. Helena and he's just sitting there, uh, looking out

and you hear the voice of Josephine and, uh, she says, you know, , come meet me and we'll try all this over again. Okay. And then it says that the last word that Napoleon ever said was Josephine. And it's an interesting idea.  You can see if this movie really was just kind of a love story and all about that, and they had the courage to actually make these people fall in love, and you'd understood the attraction between them, then it would have been a beautiful last shot of,  leaving you with this feeling of kind of ennui and wistfulness, that Napoleon is going to die, but maybe on the other side, he's going to see Josephine.

Um, it's not this great reunion because everything was perfect about the relationship. It was this kind of broken relationship, but there was something intriguing and loving at the core of it. And so she wants to start over in the next life and see if they can really love each other this time and and figure out how to do this relationship in the right way.

That's an interesting idea.  Unfortunately, like, it's a punchline without a setup. Like, it's kind of a good last scene, but it's honestly a head scratcher because they haven't done anything to make that last line mean anything.

You know, similarly with the war movie aspect, you look at the Battle of Austerlitz and, uh, they, they kind of reduce  the Battle of Austerlitz to this one sort of gimmick, , which is something that kind of really happened at the end of the battle, which is that as they were retreating, Uh, the Austrians retreat across some frozen ponds and, uh, Napoleon and his men who have just taken the Protsenheits, fire down on them with the cannons and break the ice and some men fall through the ice and into the water and drown.

It's kind of a minor part of the battle that may or may not have really happened. Uh, it's kind of probably an exaggeration of something that did happen, but actually if you look at the historical evidence, probably only like a half dozen. people died that way. But anyways, they make the whole battle that.

Which honestly, I could maybe forgive,  because yeah, of course, throughout just one movie, you're not gonna have the opportunity to go into the intricacies of all of these great battles. And Napoleon has, you know, dozens of great battles that you could dive into in his lifetime.

 So I get it. Sometimes you need to reduce down the complexity of these battles. Okay. So, uh, the Austrians are fleeing over the ice. They're shooting at them with the cannons.

There's one cavalryman who has the banner of Austria and a cannonball lands next to him and he falls through the ice and you see. the flag of Austria  falling into this frozen water mixed with blood from this guy who's just fallen in. And it's a beautiful shot. And this is Ridley Scott,  

you know, this is the guy who did gladiator amongst other big epics, you know, this is a guy who did blackhawk down He did the martian. He did uh, the kingdom of heaven like this is someone who knows how to shoot a big epic battle sequence and uh, so so you do catch glimpses of that, but unfortunately like the stakes are never there You have no one to root for  And so none of the battle, I mean, I found myself, I can't believe this, but during the battle of Waterloo, I was just like waiting for this thing to be over,  which I am like the target market.

It's hard to put up a battle sequence. That Ben Wilson is going to lose interest in. Um, but, but Ridley Scott managed it somehow in this movie. And again, it's because you have no one to cheer for, , and also never a clear understanding of the stakes  is a function of another flaw with the movie, which is that it just moves from thing to thing to thing.

I of course was never lost because I  have read a good amount about Napoleon and so I kind of understand what everything was supposed to be representing. But I talked to a number of people who were very confused.  About what was happening, because the pacing of the movie really is, uh, poorly done.

And it just moves with very little connective tissue.

And without a great explanation of why anything matters. I'm not sure that the filmmakers understood why anything mattered.

And so when nothing matters, you have no stakes, and you have no drama. And, and that's kind of what happens.

Now having said all that, I guess that's the laundry list of my complaints. Uh, there's more I can get into. There's more I will get into. But let's talk about some things that were redeeming about the movie. The, the few things that I did like.

Uh, we'll get into that right after this quick break.

Okay, so what did I like about the Napoleon movie? The first is the costuming. I know that's like a little thing, but the uniforms were spectacular. They looked great. They looked, uh, really realistic and they looked bright and beautiful, but also kind of lived in. I just really liked the clothing as well as the set design of a lot of it.

I thought the coronation is unbelievable,  the way they did Notre Dame,  a lot of the interiors are really beautiful and really well done. I mean, this was like a first rate Hollywood production with everything that goes into that. And so it's really tragic for me to see that wasted, you know, probably never get a big budget Napoleon biopic in my life.

I can't believe this was the one, but the costuming was really great and a lot of the effects were really good as well. In terms of scenes that I really liked, one that stands out is the very first scene. So it's the execution of Marie Antoinette.

I really like that how they give her this haughty expression. You really get this feeling that she thinks that she is above all this, even as she is walking to the guillotine.  I just think that that scene is pretty too. I like the way it's shot and it's very gruesome in a very visceral way, in a very realistic way.

And I really like that.  It really transported me to those executions, to the guillotine, to the French Revolution, to the feeling that must have been in the air. I thought that was really well done.

Another thing that I really liked was the victim's ball. So, uh, supposedly there were these balls that were held in the 1790s for people who had either nearly escaped, uh, the guillotine, had had a brush with death, or had had someone close to them, , who was guillotined during the terror. And so they were these balls, uh, to sort of celebrate.

the fact that these people were alive and celebrate their survival and kind of a new lease on life. And uh, I don't know a whole lot about these survivors balls. In fact, , as I just do a little Googling about them.  It seems that the scholarship is mixed on like how widespread they were and whether they actually occurred,

But you know, whether there were balls that were held specifically on those grounds,   it does get to this feeling  that was in France in the late 1790s, which was like.  Wow. We, we came out on the other side of the terror.

And so if you survived that, , there was this like frantic, frenetic energy, uh, to make up for lost time. So there was a lot of partying and there's just outpouring of energy and emotion often got displayed in romantic ways, you know, people coupling up, um, and so I just thought that they captured that energy really well in the Survivor's Ball, in that scene.

You know, another thing that I'll say about the movie is, with the exception of Napoleon, the movie is really well acted. So I think Vanessa Kirby does a great job as Josephine. In fact, I'd say, unfortunately, that performance is a little bit wasted because it could have been. It was a great performance and, um, if, if there had been an understandable and relatable love interest and a spark between her and whoever they could have got to play Napoleon, you know, that could have been, I think, like a Academy Award winning or at least nominated performance from Vanessa Kirby.

I thought she was great. I also thought that the actor who they got for Tallyrond, uh, was really good in the few scenes that he was in.  Coulaincourt, uh, was also really well acted.

You know, even, um, Emperor Alexander, uh, of the Russian Empire, I think, , he's a good actor, and he does a good job of capturing who Alexander was a little bit, who was this young, smart, but maybe not as smart as he thought he was, emperor, who wanted to kind of go out and take the world by the balls,  I thought he was a good actor.

So, uh, a lot of good performances in the movie, other than Napoleon.

And of course, Joaquin Phoenix is a great actor. I don't necessarily place the blame at his feet. I think the script was just completely broken. And I don't know that there's another actor who could have turned that script into a good Napoleon. So I don't place the blame for this horrible Napoleon at the feet of Joaquin Phoenix.

I think it was the filmmakers. I think it was Ridley Scott.

And I think it was the writer. Uh, David Scarpa, who,  honestly, if you look through his IMDb, he's had a few clunkers. So it's not terribly surprising that he wrote a movie that was, um, that was not well written.

Other scenes that I liked, the whiff of grape shot, uh, they don't call it that, but that's kind of what it's known as historically.

That moment when the mob is marching on the Tuileries and Napoleon fires grapeshot, those little cannonballs at the crowd and they all disperse. The way that it creates this kind of wave of blood as these essentially shotgun, uh, cannonballs ripped through the crowd, I thought that was like accurate. And kind of cool to see,  mean, cool, but horrifying to see,  the effect that that would have on a crowd in that circumstance, I thought it was realistic and well done.

One other random scene that made me laugh so hard is, uh, the guy  when they're arresting the directory, which is the government before Napoleon becomes consul, one of three consuls,  they're arresting a member of the directory.  He gets outraged and says, I'm enjoying a succulent breakfast.

I just thought that his use of the word succulent there is very funny and reminds me. Of a, of a video that you may have seen on YouTube of a man in Australia who's apparently like a serial dine and dasher. And he's being arrested and forced into a cop car. And he's saying,

what is my crime? What is my crime?  📍 . I actually wonder if that might have been the inspiration because it's so funny and so similar to, to that YouTube video. Uh, but that's a scene that randomly made me laugh. I am enjoying a succulent breakfast.

Another line that is funny, probably unintentionally. So is when Napoleon says, you English think you are so great because you have boats,  it's really random. I mean, , famously Napoleon,  the remark that he receives on his final examination from military school says, this man would make an excellent sailor.

And Napoleon, uh, you know, actually had a really great mathematical mind. , and so did have a very keen understanding of seamanship and of naval affairs. And so it is very random to have him , say that he has no, uh, understanding of, of naval affairs.  Outside of like the English have boats.

Um, but it is very funny. I don't know if it was meant to play as funny, but it was funny.

And then again, the coronation, uh, is, is beautifully shot. It was really well done. They, they make this decision, which is to have Napoleon kind of snatch the crown and put it on his own head. And everyone acts kind of shocked. Oh, that he steals this crown. Of course, this is actually a moment that was very carefully choreographed between him and the Pope, uh, in advance.

And so, instead of making it seem cool, they make it seem brutish. So the scene is shot beautifully, it looks good, but the way it's written doesn't make a lot of sense, and takes a lot of the emotion out of what could have been, like, a great moment. Like, one of the great moments of all of history. The definition of a self made man.

And who's going to crown him? Well, he can't go to the old monarchy. He can't go to the Pope. , he can only go to the person who he derived his real authority from, which is himself and his conquests. And so out of necessity, he takes the crown from the Pope and places it on his own head. I'm just like the ultimate self made man and the man out of time in the 19th century, making himself an emperor.

In an age of reason and an age of liberalism, very cool moment. And, uh, they just cheapen it and try and make him seem stupid and brutish. Uh, which drove me crazy.  Another funny line,  that actually like could have fit into the real character of Napoleon. Uh, if it had been handled more cleverly, it's him saying destiny has brought me this lamb chop.

That was another moment that I actually liked.

Okay. And to finish up, I'm going to just run down my list of notes and tell you every single thing. That I wrote down that either was historically inaccurate. Obviously I didn't write down every historical inaccuracy, but I wrote down a lot of the ones that bothered me and then everything that I didn't like.

So this is just rapid fire complaints about Napoleon, a bad movie. So here you go.

Toulon, why is no one in charge of this battle? Napoleon says like, go and then just attacks with everyone else. This is part of a larger trend of Napoleon just being allergic to leadership at all throughout this movie. He never leads. He always just speaks in an indoor voice and then things happen, which seems like the filmmaker is trying to disconnect him from the good decisions that he made or the good things that happen, uh, that he commands.

So  it's weird, like he doesn't seem in command. Of the battle of Toulon. They don't have him getting stabbed through the thigh, which is one of the sort of heroic moments of Napoleon's life. I actually can understand that because maybe they didn't want to have to take extra time to explain, you know, why he doesn't have a limp and show him recovering and recuperating and getting better.

From this, uh, spear to the thigh, which he received. So instead they show his horse getting shot out from under him. Um, and I guess that's fine,

but it is annoying that he just kind of waves his arm and people attack.

They tried to portray Napoleon as just sort of the ultimate cuck. Uh, like he was literally cuckolded by his wife. She cheated on him, but, uh, they try and make him seem, bumbling, unattractive, and like he has nothing else going on and is just completely obsessed with his wife.

And to that end, at their wedding, he is like hovering over her and trying to kiss her and she is trying to avoid his kisses. When the truth is that he was hours late to his own wedding because he was so deeply focused on his work that it just kind of escaped him. So I thought that was interesting that they missed that, that, uh,

That he showed up late to his wedding. They have him shooting at the pyramids. Again, I suppose this is supposed to make him seem brutish. And like he has no respect for Egypt and for the history there. The reality is quite different. Which is that when they were in Egypt, French troops discover And

Which is the stone that has a composition decree written in ancient Egyptian, as well as an ancient Greek. And of course, before the discovery of the Rosetta Stone, uh, no one could decipher ancient Egyptian.

and when the French discovered it in Egypt, it was being used, uh, you know, wall as like a stone in a wall. And so anyway, the point is they try and show the French as like. Completely uncaring for the culture of Egypt when the truth is  previous to the French coming the culture was completely uncared for and neglected  and it was actually the French who Were able to find and preserve a lot of that Egyptian culture

Uh, my other complaint is they try and make everything about Josephine. So they have him leave Egypt because of Josephine, and they also have him leave Elba because of Josephine.  On both accounts, that is not true. Napoleon was not making large geopolitical decisions, uh, based on his relationship with his wife.

And in fact, when Napoleon left Elba, uh, he already knew that she was dead. Uh, so he was definitely not leaving Elba in order to see her. another decision they make is to have Napoleon do his own reconnaissance. So you're like, we'll put on a common jacket and go out and observe things himself.  Uh, and to me, this goes together with him kind of speaking an indoor voice.

They don't want to show him being a leader or as actively leading anyone. And so,  rather than. Like showing the operations of the French military machine. It's just kind of Napoleon doing everything himself  So it's a weird decision to have him Doing his own reconnaissance and riding out on a horse and seeing what he can see

at the divorce They have him slap Josephine To my knowledge, he never hit Josephine. That would have been very out of character for him. It's like this very shocking, uh, moment. One of the things that's really used to sort of assassinate Napoleon's character in the movie. And it certainly never happened after divorce.

And I don't think he ever hit her.

I mentioned that I liked a lot of the sets and a lot of the scenes. One of the exceptions is Moscow, which inexplicably looks nothing. Like Moscow, they have some domes in the background. So I guess it's like, okay, that's Russian.  But, but like the color is very gray. And if you've ever been to Moscow, it's not,  a very gray city, at least the old city isn't right.

Of course, some of the apartment buildings that were built in Soviet times are very gray. Um, but like, uh, the Kremlin. And St. Basil's and like everything sort of around the center of the city is very colorful, is very gold and red and green. And, uh, they just have it like this very, um, gray, it reminds me more of. Maybe like a Berlin. , and I think it's all CG anyway, but if it's CG, then why did you make it gray? And it's very inappropriate. Doesn't, doesn't look like Moscow at all.

Even on his return, Napoleon mutters, you know. I miss my home and I want to come back. And then the troops who are meeting him are the ones who shout long live the emperor and generate the excitement. And it's like, even in that moment, they won't let him be. Charismatic. Um, it's just a very weird moment.

Like you have no understanding of like, why do these people want to follow him so bad if he's showing no charisma and no initiative, like his troops take the initiative to make him lead them. It's very weird. And then I guess I'll end on one of the only scenes that I thought was good him show some charisma, which is Napoleon talking to the midshipman.

You know, these young boys in the captain's quarters of a British ship and you get to see them be charming for once. I think the point they're trying to make is that, , He's like completely glossing over  everything that really happened and taking credit for things that he really shouldn't take credit for, and he's like indoctrinating a new generation of military idiots who will go out and create more chaos.

But the fact that he is allowed to at least show a little charisma, I found positive. Anyway, , that's kind of my laundry list. It's a horrible movie. It's not good. Napoleon is one of the most compelling characters in all of history, and they just completely missed on him. Just complete miss.

They present almost an inverted picture of Napoleon. It's like the complete opposite of who he was. And so I would love it. Uh, you know, probably we're not going to get a 200 million dollar Napoleon movie again in the near future. But maybe someone could make like an animated movie about Napoleon that would be compelling.

I don't know. I would love to see it happen. And um, honestly I think I could write a better movie than this. I don't think I'm a like,  I've never written a film script before. But um,  I do have trouble imagining I could do worse than this movie. So if you're a filmmaker and you want to make a good movie about Napoleon, I am scripting like a two hour plus very in depth episode about Napoleon that's coming out, uh, either next week or the week after.

, that I think does a great job of capturing his character, hopefully. I'll let you guys decide, but, , I don't know if you're a filmmaker and you're interested in this, reach out to me, benhttotw. com. And if you're someone who hasn't seen this movie,  please save yourself three hours of your life.

If you're like me and you're that interested, I probably can't talk you out of it. And that's fine, but I guess know what you're getting into. Anyway, sorry, this couldn't be more positive, but that's my review. And until next time, thanks for listening to how to take over the world

‍